I was in love with "Shawn", who didn't seem to notice me. The kind of love where
I thought about him all the time, dreamed about him. The kind of love where I
wanted his last name as mine. His best friend "William" was over, and he was my
best friend too. My parents were away that weekend and there was a storm, so
"William" could not go home. It was pretty late and we were talking on my
parents bed right after I came out of the shower for the night. I was in my
bathrobe. I told him all about "Shawn", and how hurt I was over it. Even how I
was saving myself for him, as silly as that seems now. It was very quiet, and he
was just looking at me, deep in my eyes. Then he told me he loved me, how he
always loved me. I didn't know what to say. I was frozen, stunned, it was so
unexpected. When he reached forward, he started to pull my bathrobe open a
little with his hands, and then he kissed me. Our hair kind of mixed together
and it felt so strange and tingly. I could have said or done something, but I
let him, because I couldn't see him being hurt the way I had been. He is my best
friend. I never thought or new he thought of me this way, but then maybe neither
did "Shawn", though I was certain I had dropped so many hints, and never did
"Shawn" go out with anyone. When he kissed me, it was strange. I was captured,
just by his kiss. I kissed before, but the way he kissed me, I could feel, he
meant every word, about loving me. It was slow and lingering, and ever so
gentle, while he slowly pulled my robe open, my heart already racing so fast. I
opened my mouth to him, and he held me tight. Then he touched me, first my neck,
sending shivers down my spine, then slowly, moving down over my exposed breast.
I was already so hot, and it felt so good. I could barely breath, as he touched
my breasts, and then found my nipple with his finger tips. I could have stopped
him, but I didn't. Instead I imagined it was "Shawn". I imagined it was" Shawn"
touching me, the way I always wanted to be touched, by him. I imagined, when
"William" parted my lips and slowly kissed his way down my chest, to then cover
my nipple with his mouth, that it was "Shawn" I was cradling in my arms, loving
me like this. Then slowly he was pushing me back, and his mouth was over my
belly, when he touched my sex. I was already wet, and he must have thought it
was for him, but it was for "Shawn" I was wet, and I remember going crazy from
his touch there, his pressing against my clit, then, suddenly, he slid his
finger into me. I felt, more than heard, myself start to moan. He slid his
finger across my clit and into me, and I started to cum. I had done this to
myself before, but never anyone else. First my belly tightened, then all over I
felt myself clench. I closed my eyes, and I came, so unlike when I did it
myself, and I was still dreaming of "Shawn". I would touch myself and make
myself come like this many a night, my eyes closed, imaging "Shawn", touching
me, tasting me, even making love to me on our wedding night, making our first
child, but all those were fantasies alone. This, being touched, made it more
real, more special, having shared such an intimate moment, thought, with my best
friend in this way, but he did not know this. Then suddenly, it was different.
He was holding me now, he held me while I was cumming. It felt so good to be
held now, in "shawns" arms. But it was not his finger that I felt pressing now
against my sex, even as I felt the opening of my cunny being stretched over
something much thicker. Opening my eyes suddenly, I guess I wished it was
"Shawn's face I would see, but it was of course "William".I always thought it
would hurt, the first time, but it felt so good, and he was kissing me and
touching me, and I just let it happen. I felt myself stretched around him, then
felt myself being stretched inside my belly. I guess I never really had a hymen,
for nothing tore, and then I felt him, swelled, tight, inside my belly, his hip
crushing against mine, the tip pressing against the bottom of my womb. It felt
so good, but I knew we had to do something. I was right between my period, and,
I knew, there was a little egg cell inside me just waiting to be popped. Then he
started moving, and it felt like my world became my cunny. I could feel him
moving, his heartbeat even, inside me. Then he kissed one of my nipples and I
felt myself jerk suddenly and clench allover. I was cumming, even harder this
time! I felt my belly clench, felt him inside me, so tight, and it felt like I
was pressing him, squeezing him out of my body. I was frozen like that, my eyes
closed, my arms tight around him, my legs tight around his hips, I don't know
how long. Then, it was over, and it all felt different. Now I could feel him,
very clearly, moving in my body. He felt very hot now inside me, and he was
moving differently, always deep now, and I could clearly feel his heart beat in
my belly. I just knew what this meant, instinctively. I knew his body was ready
now, to inseminate me. I knew already some of his swimmers may be inside me. I
knew I had to do something, and fast, but I felt myself starting to clench
again. His head was near mine, and I told him, whispering, but as clear as I
could, he had to pull out, or he would make a baby inside me. He had to do it
now. I told him, and hearing me, he held me very tight, slowly pulled one of my
nipples back into his mouth. I felt myself jerk and clench like before, and I
suddenly felt him swell up huge deep inside me. Clenching tight, my eyes open, I
looked down at him, his face, the face I knew would be the father of my child,
not "Shawn", but "William". I closed my eyes and held myself, clenched, tight to
him. Deep inside me, he held himself, and it was like a hot little heart,
beating inside me, and in that moment, I just knew, he would, he was, "William"
was, making me pregnant. I felt him, so warm inside me, spreading in my belly,
in beat with his heartbeat. My eyes closed, soon, I knew, his seed, millions of
pieces of him, would be racing past my cervix, through my womb, into my tubes,
my egg soon to be soaked in him. In "William". And then descending into my womb,
our genes, into the place my body has made ready to receive this. My arms and
legs wrapped tight around him, I came, like never before in my life. I thought,
this is what making a baby should feel like. I remember crying afterwards. Once
I came, I was scared. I knew he had come in me, and hard. I knew he might really
be making me pregnant, and there was so much of his stuff in me, and I knew so
little I could do. Reality ended my orgasm, and now I went to the bathroom, to
try and drain him out of me. I could see, with my hand mirror, parting myself,
how so much of him was clinging inside me. If I thought jumping up and down
would do it, like I was told by my friends many years ago, I would have tried
that. We talked a little after that. It was hard at first, but I had to admit,
to myself, I did not discourage him, I was at least partly to blame. I would not
let him hold me, though. You see, I did not love him, and it didn't feel right.
He was my best friend, and, alas, he deeply loved me, but I did not and could
not love him quite the same way. I think learning this, afterward, hurt him far
more than if he knew it first. He went home the next day, and I now only see him
on rare occasion. Being as 'regular' as the moon, in two weeks, nothing
happened, and not in three, but I already kind of knew, and had accepted it by
then. I told him, of course. There was no thought of abortion in my mind. It is
not the baby's fault it came to be made. He is my friend, I don't love him, but
I am having his baby. And that's how it came to be. Maybe next time I will have
the right persons baby?
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