Its 2:10 am, Saturday and its your fault I'm here. I've been
walking around campus, simply asking to be raped, trying to cool off.
But even the damn weather isn't cooperating with me.
Do you know what I've been doing the last hour?
I've been lying on my couch in the dark fantasizing about you.
Yes, I might as well say it and get it over with.
I've been seeing you in my mind without your shirt on and me touching
you. My hands stroking your chest and then slipping behind you to run
over your back..
And do you know what else I did? I lay there on my damn couch and
suddenly I imagined myself stripping for you.. and doing it for
real. I started unbuttoning my silk shirt, even though I knew
M. was out and would be walking in at any minute. I would never
have lived that down. My skin felt so smooth to the touch, my
breasts were suddenly so sensitive. I slipped one shoulder out of
the shirt and pulled my bra down. Damn, I was really asking for
M. to walk in. The sides of my breast felt so good. I've never
noticed the way it curves so smoothly to my nipple. And when I
stroked my nipple.. aahhh, it felt so good and I imagined it was
you touching me.
My whole body is practically sizzling right now and its all your
damn fault! I really wish you hadn't told me that you have your
apartment to yourself. Before, when I was all horny, the sane
rational part of my mind was busy telling me that even if things
got really bad, I couldn't do anything about it anyway because I
couldn't relax enough to enjoy it at your place (because of your
roommates) and I don't even feel comfortable at my place anymore.
That was the only thing that kept me going.
DAMMIT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A NICE BODY?
The worst thing is that you're all wrong for me. No, the worst
thing is that you're carrying a torch for K. and I'm feeling
so unbelievably guilty for even thinking of you!
I seriously hope you fry in hell for this.
There. I feel a little better now.
I managed to keep myself from doing this for 2 hours and it just
plain wore me out, so finally I just wanted to get it out of my
system.
So what to do, H? This is my proposition. Faced with the
prospect of going through this for the next 10 days just because I
don't have any projects to keep my mind occupied, I've come on a plan
that should fix this problem for a little while.
This is Spring Break right? Nobody is around. We could spend the
next few days in bed and no one would know...
You would get someone to hold you at night and maybe even a little
pleasure out of it , and I hopefully, will get this
thing out of my blood. No promises, no labels, no strings. Just two
friends doing each other a favour. Then when school starts again, we
can try to get back to normal. Hence, the nobody knowing about it,
would come in useful..
Think about it. If you decide not to go for it, do me a favour and
DON'T ever mention this letter.. You never read it. But you'll
always have it the way I'll always have your old letters.
We'll be even..
Also if you think that you might have another chance with K,
don't reply this. I don't like coming in second with a man, even
if it IS for a few days..
Now comes the real challenge..
Will I send this?
--
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