"Down, pet". I pushed him face down on the futon couch, folded
out into a bed. "Wha...". He clearly was not expecting this
kind of treatment. He fell pretty hard.
Part of the anger from a few evenings ago, our last game, had
come back to me. I had long ago resolved that I would not top in
anger. So, I spent lots of time thinking about the anger. It
had helped a little to write to Jon about it, and go through my
thoughts. There was no question that I enjoyed the evening,
wherever it had been, both mentally and physically. Jon made it
clear that he had enjoyed playing, in general, too. I tried to
ask where we had gone, but Jon wouldn't even admit that he had
been in the room. "I *heard* you, Jon". All he would say is
"well, do you think there is something wrong with liking all
this?" or "why are you angry?". We had eventually talked at
length, about passion and desire and making fantasy come true.
Jon was a good friend, if tight-lipped about particulars.
When the anger was no longer something I felt, but something I
could think about, I let the thoughts about my lover fill me.
What did all these games mean anyway? I came up with trust, and
bonding, and finally returned to pleasure. Just the plain and
simple pleasure of being exposed, being forced and the physical
sensations of his strength and warmth. And that brought me back
around to his pleasure, and that he had said that he would like
to be topped and taken more often. So topped and taken he would
be.
Straddling him from behind, I grabbed him by the nap of his neck
and pulled his head up. "Not another word, do you hear", I
hissed between clenched teeth. "Uh, yes, Ma'am". Better,
better. "Take your clothes off, but don't get up". I stayed
sitting on him, and it made it difficult. I liked watching him
struggle and I knew it embarrassed him not to do this smoothly.
I turned around, still straddling him with my legs spread, so I
could get to his ass. I started paddling him, open handed. His
ass was tender, smooth and unmarked. I loved it. I thwacked him
again.
===========================================================
I loved her. I loved this woman. It started somewhere down in
my belly and worked its way up, spreading through my chest until
I thought I would explode. It worked down, too, and I often did
explode. I had never felt anything like this before. My life
had been well ordered, with work and children and racquetball.
She had turned everything upside down, and now my emotions
traveled from one end of the spectrum to the other. Sometimes a
casual touch sent shivers chasing up and down my body. I didn't
understand it, and she had taught me not to care about
understanding. Damn, I loved that woman. I loved her when she
was strong and when she was weak. And there was no question that
I loved her when she held me down and forced me. Like now. Face
down on the bed, legs apart. I did not doubt that she would hurt
me. She had shown me the place beyond pain, where I could cry
and hurt and be loved and let go of everything else in my life.
A place where I didn't have to work hard to keep myself in order,
where staying in order just didn't matter. She had shown me an
awful lot, and all of it with love. I knew that I owed her more
than I could possibly give back, and whatever she could and would
and wanted to do to me was fine.
She tied the blindfold on, and put in one earplug. "It will make
everything seem more remote. It will make you focus on the
feelings. It will concentrate your attention wonderfully". But
it was her attention I wanted. Even if the pain hadn't been
something I enjoyed, I would have suffered it for her attention.
She put in the other ear plug. My attention concentrated. Each
touch was charged and I strained to feel more. My arms were
jerked over my head and tied down tight, legs pulled wide,
strapped to the corners. It was a big bed. I felt the cat
trailing down my spine, its leather tails tickling. A sudden
blow startled me and I tried to jump. I was indeed tied tight.
I could feel a line of fire travel across my back to one buttock.
She was watching me, she was loving me. That was all that I
wanted.
"Ooo, pet" she crooned near my ear. It was hard to make out the
words. But mostly she just made sounds as the sting between my
shoulder blades increased. The single line of fire was a sheet
across my shoulders. She leaned over me, stroking my back and
trailing her fingers down my ass to the inside of my thigh. I
loved the way she touched my ass. No one had done that before.
"Ooo, pet", an ear plug came out and a pointed tongue darted into
my ear, followed by a warm breath. "Pet, you are enjoying this,
all too much, I think". True, I was loving this. I could bask
in her attention forever. She loved me, she loved me, she wanted
me. I'd never have enough. I'd do anything to please her, and I
guess she knew it. The ear plug went back in.
I felt a cold sticky finger between my ass checks, probing to
find my anus. Her finger circled the rim, and then pushed in.
"Oof" I exhaled. I had never had butt play till she started. The
first time it shocked the hell out of me. In a shower, in a
hotel, she had just slipped a soapy pinky into my ass. I nearly
fell. It made me nervous, but, at the time, it was hard to admit
that it was new, or worse, that I didn't like something she
wanted. We hadn't started playing BDSM games, yet. It was just
another thing she did to me. The next time we were together, she
had me lie on my back and hold me knees apart for her. I had
felt massively exposed and vulnerable to her. Then, with some KY
she started working two fingers into my ass. She told me that
she would make me scream, and eventually I did. I remember her
voice, as much as the words, "Relax," she had said in soft,
soothing voice, "lean into the feeling, let it happen to you,
welcome it". It was the first time in my life I just let go in
bed, just let someone DO to me. I must have cried for an hour
afterwards.
Now, when I felt her stroke my prostate, I nearly climbed the
walls. Except I couldn't now, being tied down, I had to let go.
It helped having no choice. More lube and more fingers, she was
working hard on spreading me open. A few strokes in and out, and
then circular massage on the inside. Strokes, rubbing, strokes,
rubbing. My mind got lost somewhere, climbing mountains with
streams in the sunlight.
It stopped. I was startled, I wanted more. All of a sudden she
was in front of me removing the blindfold. Smiling. "I love
you" she was mouthed, I could barely hear the words and I smiled
back. And then, something shoved into my ass. Hard. Bigger
than fingers or a butt plug. And hands on my back, other hands
because there were hers, holding my head. Someone was fucking
me. Someone not my lover. "Don't worry, its safe" she said,
loudly. "Safe" I croaked. It hurt. It was big. It was filling
me up. It was another man.
She smiled at me, with a superior, I know you smile. It was a
smile to which I could only say "yes, Ma'am". I didn't want to
relax, I tried to fight this stranger, get him out of my body.
But all I could do was squeeze his cock tighter, and elicit vague
sounds of male pleasure filtered through the earplugs. The hands
were god-awful strong. When he sensed me struggling, he pushed
hard, down on my back, levering himself above me, forcing me
down. He kept slamming harder and harder into me, shoving his
weight against my ass. This insistent force was an incredible
contrast to her gentle hands. They framed my lower face, fingers
curving up my checks, touching my earlobes, holding me still with
a slightest of touches and the deepest of feelings. A tongue
reached out and flicked over my eyelids and down to my lips. I
wanted to kiss her, but she wouldn't let me.
"Give in to him" she said. "Let him take you, for me". I
screwed up my eyes, trying not to think about it. A man above
me, with his cock in my ass, taking pleasure in my body. He
seemed to be able to fuck forever. I certainly didn't last this
long. Or maybe it just seemed that way to me. I wondered if my
lover felt like this when I lay on top of her. The strong hands
raked down my sides, leaving scratches and probably blood in
their wake. The finger tips felt rough as they reached around my
belly, traveled through my pubic hair and grabbed my cock. One
hand pushed up so there was room for the other to start pumping
me roughly. I groaned. I didn't want to be turned on by another
man's hand on me, but he offered me no choice. My cock responded
to the harsh touch, and I could feel my hips start to rock on
their own. He kept on driving me, the same rhythm in my ass and
on my cock, herding me towards an inevitable orgasm. I was in
his power, her power, I couldn't tell. And I didn't think I
cared any more.
"Don't let him come", she warned the other man, loud enough for
me to hear. "No" I cried out, all of my self was in my cock, "I
have too". She slapped my face, and then smiled even more.
"Stop now" she order the other man, "he's getting near, I can
tell". The hand fell away from my cock, and I felt a backwash of
negative sensation travel up my spine to the base of my skull,
where it grabbed hard and hurt. "More", I begged "oh, please
more". I looked up into her eyes and thought if she only could
know how much I love her. But she leaned forward and kissed my
head and pulled out the ear plugs. The man had stopped moving,
and she spoke clearly into the silence around me. "This isn't for
you, you know". I groaned, trying to clear out the knot at my
skull. "This is for us, all I care about is seeing you fucked by
another man". I was crushed, I wanted her to care about me, and
not to think about this other man. "You are mine, and you will
come when I let you. He", she said tossing her head to indicate
the other "will come whenever he damn pleases. And it better
damn please you, too".
Her words must have meant something to him. The hands tightened
around my sides and the force pushing onto me increased. I could
hear the other man moaning, now. It was clearly my friend Jon,
and he was close to coming. The sensations around my ass had
become incredibly strong too. I tried to loosen up, to enjoy
what was happening, but I felt too embarrassed at the thought of
Jon in my ass. I suppose I could cope with it being a man, the
good feelings seemed to overwhelm that hesitancy. But being face
down with one of my closest friends using me was hard. His nails
dug into my shoulders and he grunted hard and jerked on me. I
was tied too tightly to move up into his arms, but he fell
forward on top of me and wrapped his arms around my torso.
"You're one good fuck" he said, as he pulled out. I need one
good fuck, I thought to myself. But had no idea when it might
come my way.
--
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