I woke in a daze, my bladder on the verge of exploding. The combination of pot
and beer always does that to me. After full two-minute piss, I staggered back to
bed and found that Karen was not there. It was 2:51 a.m. I was so groggy, I
thought she must be in the bathroom. She sometimes gets bad cramps and diarrhea.
"Kar?" Then I knew that she couldn't be in the bathroom (since I'd just been in
there). Chris. Chris was downstairs. Chris and Karen were downstairs. Together.
I pictured Chris' dick, which was big by anyone's standards. And although I
hadn't seen it in over four years, I doubted it had gotten any smaller. The
thought of Karen touching it (or any other part of him) made me sick. But then
Karen has a strong aversion to sex, and an even stronger aversion to people like
Chris, so I doubted this was a possibility. Chris Coleman and I had been brought
together as juniors at BU by a campus housing shortage. I would never have
chosen to room with him. He was a jock creep some shitty Boston suburb. As a
freshman, he'd led BU's ice hockey team in assists and then quit during the off
season, to fully devote himself to being a full-time scumbag. He was the
consummate piece of shit. One beery night about a month after we moved in
together, he stumbled across a freshman Zeta Phi sister lying inebriated and
unconscious in the stairwell of our dorm. He carried her back to our room (I
wasn't there), fucked her, then dragged her out into the showers and left her
there. To this day, I still regret not having turned him over to campus
security. The rest of our year together was an unpleasant blur. He lied a lot,
stole every nickel, dime and quarter I left unattended and sold herb for pocket
money -- from our dorm room. Looking back, I'm glad he never got busted. It
might have made me look like an accomplice or something. But worst of all was
the way he leered at Karen (who I also met at BU) whenever she came over. Before
the year was over, it was so bad that she stopped coming to my dorm altogether.
So one night four years later, I'm clearing the dishes away from a roast turkey
dinner I'd made for Karen. The phone rings. A familiar voice on the other end
knows my name. "David?" "Coleman? Chris? "That's me." He sounded good natured
and surprisingly adult. "Holy, shit. How are you? Where are you?" He laughed.
I'm about 10 miles from your house, if this map is right." There was some
static. "I'm in the car on my way down to Philly." "What a surprise," I looked
into the living room. Karen, exhausted from work, was fetal on the couch. There
was no way I could not invite Chris to stop by for a quick drink. On the other
hand, Karen was in one of her IEMMs (indefinitely extended miserable moods).
This could be bad, especially if Chris roving eye thing hadn't changed over the
years. There was no way out. And besides, I was curious about what had become of
my old roommate the sleaze king. After giving directions and hanging up, I put
the kitchen together and did a little general housecleaning while Karen finished
her nap. Two hours later, Chris and we drinking beers and smoking a joint rolled
with some really strong weed he'd brought with him. Karen (who has never even
smoked a cigarette) watched us, looking surprisingly placid considering who was
sitting on the other end of the couch from her. I however, was feeling
surprised. Chris had turned out to be a pretty decent guy. His affection for
dope hadn't changed, but he had gotten his CPA after all (I'd never thought he
would stick it out) and was working for a big accounting firm in Boston. From
the look of the brand new Jeep Cherokee in the driveway, I judged they were
paying him pretty well. He also looked good. I'd always been jealous of his
hockey player's body. And unlike me, he hadn't totally stopped working out after
college. Leaning back on our couch with a loose fitting t-shirt and faded jeans,
he looked like a sports star relaxing after a big game. I even thought I saw
Karen looking at him with a strange kind of interest. He was also nothing of the
pervert we had known him to be. Not only did he refrain from foul language and
tasteless comments of any kind, he only glanced once or twice at Karen's
breasts, even though they were swinging loose under her black sweatshirt.
Overall, he was laid back and kind of fun to be with. Certain that I would find
Karen and Chris, if anything, at the kitchen table drinking a cup of herbal tea
(her favorite midnight activity), I threw on some pajamas and went downstairs.
Even though Chris had turned out to be pretty cool, there was just no way Karen
would ever let him touch her. It was actually Karen's disinterest in sex that
made our relationship possible in the first place. If she had been into sex, she
probably never would have been into me. What I am (low self-esteem yet still
confident with a slightly flabby body and a not gorgeous but still sometimes
boyishly charming face) is what brought us together: I am safe, and this is what
she needs. My job is to make Karen feel comfortable, protected from the shit of
life. From the pain, poverty and perversion. As you would expect, Karen's
problems for sex stem from her childhood. Making a long story short, she was
molested over a period of three years, between the ages of 10 and 14, by a
neighborhood girl (and her boyfriend) who occasionally baby-sat for Karen. I
don't know all the details but from what I've been able to gather (from Mr. and
Mrs. Lerner, Karen has never talked about it to me), she was never raped. The
damage took the form of unwanted touching in the form of massages, some "forced"
masturbation, and if I had to guess, some oral sex. Anyway, whatever happened,
it turned Karen off of sex forever. To make things even worse, she grew up
incredibly sexy. Karen looks like a model in a high end clothing catalogue, like
J. Crew or L.L. Bean. Only she has extremely large breasts, on a slender,
athletic frame. This combination makes it literally impossible to look at her
without thinking of sex. I know it sounds horrible, but Karen's body is actually
pornographic; naked, on her back, her breasts spread and spill slightly outward.
Her deep pink nipples are so obscenely large I can barely fit one in my mouth.
From the neck up, though, Karen looks like a college girl working as a summer
camp counselor in New England. A trim, blonde sports babe with a big, friendly
smile. But still, because of her breasts, she grew up with men (and women)
constantly being sexual with her. And it's made her feel repulsed by sex. What a
world. I'm deeply in love with Karen but I often think that she's never going to
be able to work through this thing, and it's hard for me. Karen's anger is so
bad, we sometimes go months without having intercourse. And when we do, the
ecstasy of seeing her naked breasts wobble (or as is more often the case) sway a
few inches in front of my face, usually makes me shoot my load (into a condom;
my semen has never and will never touch any part of her body) within a minute or
two. It isn't like she minds, though. For Karen, sex is all about intimacy. When
we make love, she wants to be held, stroked, and loved. I listened around the
corner before looking in the living room but heard nothing. I also peeked in the
den. I wondered if maybe that they hadn't gotten hungry or something and taken a
ride to 7-11. But that just wasn't Karen. And besides, Chris' jeep was in the
driveway. They were in the basement. It now occurred to me, with a sickening
finality, that it was very likely that I was going to find them together -- in
some capacity. There just wasn't anything else they would be doing down there
besides having sex. Hot tears spring to my eyes and I felt like sitting down.
This just made no sense. Whatsoever. Strange thoughts as descended the stairs to
the basement. The whole thing was unreal. Lacking the nerve to kill them, I
decided I would punish her with shame. And refusing to forgive her -- ever. I
would divorce her. They were in the guest room, where Chris was supposed to have
stayed -- by himself. All we had down there was a cheap cot, and I heard the box
springs squeaking lightly. I inched the door open and waited while my eyes
adjusted to the darkness. Although I steeled myself for the worst, there is
nothing -- no thought, action or comforting word of wisdom that could have
prepared me for what they were doing. In a few seconds, I could see them almost
as well as if the lights had been on. Karen, my sweet, miserable wife,
sex-hating wife was lying on top of my old roommate who was now an accountant,
her head in the crook of his neck as he fucked her from underneath. He was
holding her ass cheeks so far apart I couldn't believe that she wasn't screaming
in pain, and (this made me sick) sliding his finger in and out of her asshole.
His dick was even bigger than I remembered it from college. Slamming upward into
my wife's pussy, it was the cruelest, sexiest, nastiest thing I'd ever seen. She
sat up on him, his finger still sliding in and out of her ass, and guided his
free hand to her right breast. He groaned, "God, you're tits are so fucking big.
I've got to fuck them." She giggled and rocked on him. He found a new rhythm,
pulling his finger out of her ass as she sat on him, then shoving it back in on
her upstroke. I could tell Karen was loving it. She was not my wife anymore. She
was someone else, a strange, hopelessly complicated woman. "If you keep doing
that for another minute, I'm going to come," she said, matter-of-factly. "I'm
definitely going to come." He began slapping her right tit, and pulling and
twisting the nipple. True to her word, in a few seconds Karen ground to a
standstill on his huge cock, let out a brief muffled cry, her whole body
spasming. I never knew women could come like that. "Fucking whore," he said up
to her. "You're a....pig," she groaned back. "I hate you....always have." After
a few seconds, she collapsed besides him, giggling, and reached down to the
floor. I watched with disbelief as she pulled up a joint and lit it as Chris
scooted down to eat her. "Chris?" He made a throaty, indiscernible as he tongued
lightly at her clitoris, something she's only let me done once or twice since in
all our years together. She shut her eyes. "You don't think he'll wake up, do
you." Chris didn't answer. He took the joint from her, dragged deeply, then
stubbed it out in an ashtray on the floor. In the meantime, Karen rolled over
onto her stomach, raised herself up on her knees, and spread her cheeks. He
kissed her asshole lightly. Without warning, he slapped her left buttock
violently. She quivered. "You're a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt," he told her. "Hmmm,"
she cooed. "I'm really stoned." I had no intention of moving. I was going to
watch but not interfere. Even if I had, I was sure Chris would beat me and then
leave, and Karen would go with him. Chris spit into her ass crack and began
lapping at her hole like a dog. Although I couldn't see her face too well, I
could see that she was smiling. She reached back to play with his hair, to push
against her semen soaked breasts a few times, and then pushed them together for
him to fuck. He slid his mammoth dick between and began to thrust. I turned and
went upstairs. At some point before dawn, Karen slipped into bed with me, warm,
freshly damp and smelling of soap. She'd showered. From outside, I heard Chris'
Jeep start up and back out of our driveway. Pretending to be asleep, I reached
for a breast. She guided my hand to where it wanted to go and held it there for
safekeeping.
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